I have mixed feelings about Valentine’s Day.  Anything that helps us show our love and appreciation for others seems to be a good thing, but Valentine’s Day can be a bit of a trap - on both sides of the equation. It is uncertain exactly how Valentine’s Day began. It’s possible it is another example of an attempt to Christianize the Pagan celebration of Lupercalia, but there are other possibilities.  We know that it was celebrated in Britain in the 17th century, and by the mid-1800’s mass produced valentines were being sold in the US. It’s now one of those days that gets merchandised out the wazoo...conspicuous consumption at its best.  But it is part of our collective experience, as are the various expectations surrounding it, so perhaps we need to put it into perspective.

When I started thinking about Valentine’s Day and its significance, a memory came to me.  My grandfather used to give my Nana these huge, satin, padded, greeting cards.  They were at least 8 by 10 inches and came in a box.  I don’t think he gave them to her exclusively for Valentine’s day.  I know for certain there were some for their anniversary, and maybe even for her birthday.  They sat on the piano along with the sheet music, and as a kid I loved to admire them and run my fingers across the satin.  The cards were filled with ‘darlings’ and ‘sweethearts’ including those in the notes written in my grandfather’s gorgeous handwriting. They were extravagant and old-fashioned, and yes - by today’s standards, they were probably pretty gaudy.  To me, they were ideal and the embodiment of true love.

I should tell you a little bit about my relationship with my grandfather.  He died when I was 10, so we didn’t have many years together, but he looms so large in my memories. All I ever wanted as far back as I can remember was to be in his company. As I’ve mentioned before, my mom was the only one of her sisters who lived out of state.  When we visited, we stayed with my grandparents.  I shared my Aunt Judy’s room with her, a room you had to enter to reach the only bathroom.  My grandfather rose early - very early, and I discovered that I could spend time alone with him, before the rest of the house woke, if I got up early as well.  Each morning he would quietly walk into the bathroom, careful not to wake me or my Aunt Judy. Just as quietly, he would head downstairs to the kitchen.  Despite his efforts, and while I was still mostly asleep, I got up and followed him.  I was very young, but I can vividly remember padding down the blue, carpeted stairs, one foot and then the other landing on the same step, carefully holding the polished black banister, thinking I couldn’t possibly reach the bottom fast enough. I’d run into the kitchen to ‘surprise’ him.  Of course he was never surprised, but he did an absolutely convincing job pretending, and I was full of joy at my accomplishment. He poured juice into one of the colorful, cut-glass, juice glasses for me and made coffee for himself. We’d sit at the kitchen table and chat about everything and nothing. He was funny and did his best to make me giggle, but I was afraid to laugh too loudly because I didn’t want anyone else to join us. That time was precious, and if I ever overslept to find someone else hanging out in the kitchen with him, I was surly. 

As with my Nana, I recall lots of little things about him - too many to list, but if I close my eyes, I can remember the feeling of his stubble against my face as he kissed my cheek when we all said goodbye. I remember the way he smiled at my Nana, and it was clear to me, even as a child, how much he adored her. There is a photo of them dancing (they were beautiful dancers) that looks like it’s straight out of a movie, but the true joy on his face makes it clear there was no acting involved. So although I have mixed feelings about Valentine's day, I'll admit to believing that receiving one of those puffy cards with all the ‘darlings’ written in a beautiful hand still does seem ideal.

This year, as we continue to suffer through the pandemic, I think I’ll make cookies for my darlings.  I usually make these cookies for Christmas, but I didn’t make any cookies at all this Christmas - my heart just wasn’t in it.  They are called Baci di Dama, which roughly translates to Lady’s Kisses.  Sort of appropriate for Valentine’s Day, right?  Baci di Dama are a delicious combination of chocolate and hazelnuts.  America’s Test Kitchen describes them as, “...a textural marvel, at once crisp and meltingly tender.”  There are many variations, but I have always used the recipe from Francine Segan’s masterpiece book of Italian desserts, dolci.  Segan includes a quote from 1st Century Roman Poet,Gaius Valerius Catullus…

dammi mille baci

poi cento, poi mille altri,

poi ancora cento…

 (give me a thousand kisses,

then a hundred, then a thousand

more, and another hundred...)

*but this recipe makes about 3 dozen

Baci di Dama

⅞ cup (3 ½ ounces, 100 grams) whole blanched hazelnuts, oven toasted

½ cup ( 3 ½ ounces, 100 grams) sugar

¾ cup ( 3 ½ ounces, 100 grams) all-purpose flour

7 tablespoons (3 ½ ounces, 100 grams) butter, diced

3 ½ ounces/100 grams dark chocolate, chopped

(Variation for Chocolate-Chocolate Baci di Dama: substitute 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder for 2 tablespoons of the flour when you make the dough.)

Preheat the oven to 350°F.  Line two baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside.

Combine the hazelnuts and 2 tablespoons of the sugar in a food processor and process until finely ground.  Add the remaining sugar, sift in the flour, and process until well combined.  Add the butter and pulse until combined.  The dough will be a dense mass.  Divide the dough in half, shape into disks, wrap in plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least two hours, until very firm and cold.

Unwrap one disk of dough (leave the other in the refrigerator so it stays cold).  Pinch off a teaspoonful of the dough and roll it into a small ball - a little less than ½ inch in diameter.  Occasionally flour your hands so the dough doesn’t get too sticky as it warms in your hands - you want the dough to continue to be fairly dry.  Place the balls on the cookie sheet at least 2 inches apart.  Place in the refrigerator as you prepare the second cookie sheet.  Make sure you make an even number of balls - you will need two to make one baci.

Bake each sheet for about 8 -10 minutes, until just light golden.  Keeping the cookies on the parchment, slide them off the baking sheets and onto a cool surface to keep them from cooking further.  Let them cool to room temperature before filling.

Put the chocolate in a small bowl and melt it - either in the microwave or over a saucepan of gently simmering water (I prefer this, because you have more control).  To make the kisses, put a dollop of chocolate on the flat side (the side that had been touching the baking sheet) on one cookie and then make a sandwich by pressing another cookie onto the chocolate. Let the chocolate set for a bit before beginning. If it is too hot it will drip down the sides of the cookie. I have also used Nutella to fill these, and it’s pretty great.  Repeat with all the cookies. 

They can be stored in an airtight container in a cool, dry place for several weeks, but I guarantee they won’t last that long.  Enjoy!